A Halloween post doesn’t have to be about supernatural ghouls, goblins, ghosts or the like. It can be about human relationships gone terribly wrong. Someone you trusted completely, committed and banked your future on, because you thought they would always be present at your side while you walked through life, just blows your life to pieces without warning one day. Anyone’s real-life nightmare, IS a horror story.
The memoir, Strangers, by Belle Burden, speaks of her experience with the man she married. They met at the law firm where they both worked and both came from wealthy, accomplished families. She thought she’d be married a lifetime. They were happy and steady, spending the COVID quarantine in their home on Martha’s Vineyard, until she discovered he was having an affair. That’s when it all changed, he changed, wanting a divorce to leave her and their kids.
The disturbing, chilling thing about this story is the way that Burden was blindsided. She had no clue her husband had someone else. He treated her and the children very well, as if he was very happy and nothing was wrong, until the day he was found out. Then her husband just went cold and turned his back on them. Burden began to wonder if there were signs this was coming that she had missed over the years. She mentally tortured herself trying to answer this question.
Burden explains that before her wedding, it was standard practice within her family to sign a pre-nuptial agreement, so her family attorney had one prepared. Her fiancé didn’t want the standard sharing-anything-earned-during-marriage agreement, only assets owned jointly would be split. Her attorney advised against this, but she signed anyway (Reading this, I thought this was a mistake, always listen to your lawyer). Soon after announcing he wanted a divorce, her husband was at the house searching for that pre-nuptial agreement. So, while he’s of clear mind, with his plan of separating ties with his family, she’s shell-shocked trying to figure out what’s happening, why he left. With his calm of the situation and financially taking precaution for himself, Burden’s husband always had the advantage. Divorcing would leave her at his mercy, totally dependent on his generosity.
She quit her job as an attorney when they married to be a full-time wife and mother, volunteering and doing pro-bono work. Her husband wanted her home with the kids and not working (She gave him her life, then he walked out). She completely trusted him and the life they built together.
The author, Burden, tells us about her parents from childhood to their professional lives, which was very interesting and helped explain the way she was raised. It also explained why she didn’t mind staying at home with her kids to give them a stable home life, with attention, support and love. The experience of separation and divorce the author describes, is very traumatic. She went through periods of isolation (from community and friends), doubt, financial insecurity, loneliness and depression. It took her quite some time to regain her confidence and become an individual again, which she describes in detail.
This was such an honest, laid-bare account of how the author’s marriage ended. She was happy, thought her life and marriage was perfect, until it wasn’t. Her husband literally shattered her world by leaving and divorcing her – no warning. It was so troubling to read. You think you know someone, until you don’t. Strangers by Belle Burden, a memoir describing betrayal, heartbreak and recovery, is an emotional read I highly recommend. Have a safe and Happy Halloween!